Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Talking Back to the Negative

As I'm reading a book about reframing, I wanted to do an exercise in reframing some of my negative thoughts. To do this, I wrote down some negative thoughts that I've thought and then I'm writing back to those thoughts what I believe to be the positive truth. I wanted to share this because others may have the same thoughts. Sometimes we get stuck in the negative and it's important to get out of it.

"It is our choice how we see things and the light we allow them to cast upon our lives."
-Stephen Arterburn, Reframe Your Life

I deserve what was done to me as a child. There must be something wrong with me.

There is nothing wrong with you. Nobody deserves to be abused or neglected by their parents. It was something that happened to you, not because of you. Absolutely nobody deserves to go through what you went through, and you are very strong because of how you overcame all of it. I know it's hard to understand why all of that was done to you, but know that it wasn't because of you. In fact, God knew that you would be strong enough to overcome it.

Nobody cares about me.


First of all, God cares about you, deeper than anybody you will ever meet. And His love cannot be earned. Second, there are many people in this world who care deeply about you but sometimes your past has tainted how you see their love. Because your parents' love was often conditional, you have a hard time understanding unconditional love, but know that there are people who care about and love you without hidden motives. Open yourself up to that love. I know it's difficult to trust, but open yourself to love.

I am an accident, a mistake.

I know that you often feel like a mistake because of all the negative things in your life. You wonder why God would bring you into the world if all of this stuff was going to happen. Didn't He know? But the fact is that you were born and you are a miracle. Not a mistake. Or an accident. You've made it through some of the most difficult circumstances a human can go through and you've risen above them. And that's how I know you're not a mistake. I know your parents have treated you like you were an accident by not being there when you needed them at different points in your life, but that was their mistake. It had nothing to do with you. It had everything to do with them. And you can learn from their mistakes. You can continue to rise above, reminding yourself that God makes no mistakes.

It's easier sometimes to just give up the fight.

I know that you have attempted to take your life at various points in your life, but know that you should not give up this fight. God had a reason for bringing you into this world. God has wonderful and amazing plans for your life and you won't get to know what those are if you give up. No doubt that giving up is easier than fighting but I know that you are strong enough to continue on the path before you. Keep staying on the path. Keep fighting. Keep overcoming the struggles. Do not give up. Don't give in. I know you have the strength and will to live within you. I have seen you fight through the seemingly impossible. I know you can do it.

Things are always going to be extremely difficult.

Not necessarily. Try to stay focused on the positive. Look at how far you've come despite your challenges. Yes, your challenges were difficult but you learned from them. Life is always going to have some challenges, but that doesn't mean your life is always going to be bad. By the way, your life isn't all bad. You've met some great people. You've found a strength inside that you never knew existed. God continually uses your challenges to help you to grow and become who He wants you to be. There are reasons for the challenges in your life. You may not always understand it, but one day you might.

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