Some days are harder than others. And today was a difficult day.
But I press on...
I was paranoid during most of the day. It was uncontrollable but mild. I thought that people were following me. I thought people were laughing at me. I've had bouts of this for the past few days. I have been suspicious of people lately.
I have been taking my medications religiously so I am very scared that my paranoia and psychosis are resistant to the medication again. Seeing as how I am already on high doses of heavy duty medications, this is really hard to take in. I also have tried 14 medications, so I don't know what else I can try.
I received news earlier today that will make it hard for me to get my Masters, even though I only have 4 more classes to take.
It is one of these days when I just want to crawl up in a ball and just stay there for eternity.
But it's also days like today that I have a choice to get up and fight through another day. Get up and enjoy this life. I have a choice of whether or not I let the evil in my life stop me from achieving what God has in store for me.
I am choosing to fight, as I always have, because I know that God has something great in store for my life.
I will cling to the hope that I find in Christ.
Living with mental illnesses means that I have to take life as it comes, day by day. And I have hope in tomorrow. I am not giving up my hope that easily.
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