"The prostitute's tears cleansed the feet of the most perfect man on earth; His forgiveness cleansed the soul of the most sinful woman in town! She instantly made the transition from self-loathing to peace when Jesus forgave her and restored her dignity."
-Rebeeca Lutzer, Jesus Lover of a Woman's Soul
As someone who has suffered abuse for many years, I often deal with shame and feelings of guilt. But something that I have been realizing these past few months is the beauty in Jesus's redemption. Redemption to me means that I am no longer guilty or dirty, but cleansed. The past is over and done with.
God can turn the impure into pure. He can turn the impossible into the possible. He can transform the broken into a beautiful masterpiece. He is bigger than anything we will be faced with.
God is helping me understand my past in a different way. I've often blamed myself for the abuse I endured, partly because I was told it was all of my fault. Slowly I am learning that I did not cause any of it. And it's not my fault. I was an innocent child who was taken advantage of. The feelings of guilt and shame are slowly going away as God is restoring me. He is renewing my life and helping me work through the feelings that accompany many years of abuse.
Something that spoke to me is that Jesus allowed the prostitute to wash his feet, something that at the time was seen as making him unclean. He allowed it. He welcomed her. He cared for her. He forgave her sins. He didn't see her as an outcast. As someone who has been abused and who has often felt too unclean for God to love me, this story means a lot to me.
To me, redemption means a clean slate. It means that no matter what happened in the past, it's in the past. Even if it made us impure. Even if it hurt us. Even if we are unclean. God loves us no matter what.
I want to share a song that means a lot to me that relates to this. It's called At the Foot of the Cross.
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