Bent But Not Broken

Here is one of my favorite photos of me when I was a kid.

I love it because it looks like I'm ready to conquer the world or soar up into the sky. This picture was taken when I was still being abused. I think it shows my resilience- that even though I was being abused and my family was starting to be torn apart, I was able to smile.

And that brings me to what I wanted to blog about today: conquering difficulties.

Many of you know that I struggle with multiple disorders. Fun times. Sometimes it can get downright discouraging and difficult. But no matter how difficult things get, I aim to never give up.

A few months ago, I was paranoid and psychotic. I thought the FBI was after me. I thought everyone was against me. I thought people were never going to talk to me again. I was about to give up. I wanted to give up. But what happened next shows the determination that I had not to give up. I called the police to get me to the hospital. I was terrified of the police, but I knew that if I had any chance of getting better, I had to go to the hospital.

Sometimes what we are called to do during difficult times seems insurmountable. Sometimes when we are called to conquer things, it takes all of us. But God's strength inside of us gives us the courage and determination we need to rise, get up and conquer our difficulties.

At bible study last night, we talked about how to get through the difficulties and we read the following verse. I've often read this verse when I feel like giving up or that my difficulties are too big to conquer.

"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; 

perplexed, but not in despair; 

persecuted, but not abandoned; 

struck down, but not destroyed."

-2 Corinthians 4:8-9 (NIV)

No matter how painful, how challenging, how difficult things get, we must never give up. When things get difficult, we need to turn to God and rely on His strength to get through. We can trust in Him, that He can get us through anything. I know personally because I've gotten through extreme abuse, neglect, homelessness, grief/loss, and multiple disorders. I know what it's like to want to give up. But I also know what it means to get up and conquer obstacles. I believe that the more difficult things get, the greater God's strength will show through. The deeper the pain, the greater God's light.

I want to share one of my favorite songs, He Said by Group 1 Crew. I listened to this song when my circumstances kept getting worse earlier this year. It has been a reminder to me of God's strength and His love. In the chorus, they sing:

"I might let you bend, but I won't let you break"

No matter how broken you feel or seem, nothing is too big for God to handle or to fix. So we must never give up.