Experiencing God's Love

I was just looking through my notebook/diary to see if I could find something to write about. I came across the following question from Breaking Free by Beth Moore:

Can you think of a time when you were suddenly awash 

with the magnitude of God's love for you personally?

I think I've had quite a few moments when I felt overwhelmed by God's love.

I think the earliest time happened in my childhood. When I was being abused, I used to imagine myself flying in the sky. Soaring above the mountaintops. Soaring high and free. Dissociation helped me to escape the pain of the abuse. I think God helped me survive the abuse through dissociation. He brought freedom into my captivity in a very meaningful way.

Another moment happened when I was a teenager. I went on a retreat with my youth group. It was really intense and I had opened up to them about my abuse. I remember when I told them everything I had gone through, there was not a dry eye in the room. I was overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and encouragement. At one point during the retreat, we had to go home and take a shower. I will never forget what happened next...

I was taking a bath and something told me to raise my arm up. Next thing I knew, I couldn't close my hand and I literally felt God's grip on my hand. I literally felt like I was shaking hands with God. In essence, He was saying "I'm washing you. Making you white as snow."

Another moment I felt God's love was when I went to the hospital at age 17 after a suicide attempt. The morning I went, I just grabbed some clothes and put them on, not really paying any attention. We got to the hospital and they told me to take my jacket off. I took it off and I looked down. The shirt I had on said "SAVED!" in huge letters and I felt God telling me that everything was going to be okay.

I've felt God's love in the many people who took me in when I was a homeless youth. I've felt God's love in the people who spoke encouraging words into my life. I've felt God's love through the countless prayers that have been said on my behalf. I've felt God's love in the people who believed in me, even when I had trouble believing in myself. I've felt God throughout my life.

Without God's love, I wouldn't be here.

I want to continue to trade in my sorrows for God's love and joy.