My Facebook status from this morning was:
On my way to work even though I want to curl up in a ball and not leave my apartment. This life demands too much courage.
This pretty much sums up my life right now.
I walk around with my head down to avoid seeing others. Somehow, I still managed to see someone stick out their tongue at me earlier. This is why I wish I could stay in my apartment all day every day.
People say I'm paranoid. I don't know if I am. What if people really are spreading something about me? I don't remember doing anything to anybody, so I don't know why they would. But you never know.
Dealing with schizophrenia is an interesting battle because I constantly have to question what I perceive as reality. My perceptions are off and my reality is skewed.
Is this really happening or is my brain teasing me?
If you've ever seen A Beautiful Mind, that is what I feel as if I am going through now. I've had visual and auditory hallucinations so I am constantly questioning my reality. It really causes a lot of confusion. It makes life difficult and terrifying at times.
I just want it all to go away. Please.
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