Being There

"I had always known how sick [my daughter] was and how hard she had fought and how close we had come to losing her. But suddenly it had hit me that I could not fix her pain. I couldn't stop her [suicidal] thoughts or change what she did with those thoughts. I couldn't be with her every minute, and I couldn't get into her brain and chase this terrorizing illness away. I could be there for her and I could be with her when she needed me... This was her battle and we could only support her in that fight."
-Cinda Johnson, Perfect Chaos

As I read this earlier this morning, I understood more of what it is like to be on the outside looking in to someone's life with mental illness. I can understand because I've watched others battle things which I couldn't help with. There have been times when I've wanted to have all the answers to make everything right and okay.

But fixing everything is not what we need the most. What we need the most as we go through an illness is support and love. Sometimes we just need someone to be there for us, to take time out to listen and just sit with us.

There are no words to express how much it means to me when people take the time to listen.  It means a lot that you're even reading my blog. So many people avoid any conversation about mental illness because it's confusing. But you don't always have to have the answers. It's about just being there.

I'll never forget the times when my friends used to visit me in the hospital and we sat around the table playing board games and laughing. Those moments took my mind off of the pain. For a few moments, I forgot that I was in the hospital. For a few moments, I was normal again.

As I am writing this, I am listening to the radio and the song "Healer" came on. Right as I was going to write again, the words "You walk with me through fire" came on.

I know that it's about Jesus but I believe that's what this life is about. It's about walking with each other through the difficult times, through the fire. It's not about always having the answers or knowing always what to do.

This life is hard and we can't have all the answers. It's a challenging world, but we can support each other through each of our battles. 

It's about being there for one another.