Living with multiple mental disorders has to be one of the most difficult challenges I have been faced with.
Not only do I struggle with paranoia and psychosis due to schizophrenia, but I struggle with the mania and depression of bipolar disorder. On top of that, I deal with symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, such as constant flashbacks and intrusive thoughts. I also deal with symptoms of Aspergers syndrome.
Needless to say, it's a difficult road.
But I'm up to fighting for a good life.
My mom has been understandably worried about me. Last night, we discussed the possibility of me going home to live with her as I deal with these disorders. I told her that I don't want to, that I want to stay in Florida to finish my Masters. After all, I set out to complete a degree here.
Nothing has stopped me yet from achieving my dreams and I'm not going to stop going for my dreams just because God has blessed me with multiple disorders. It's just another thing that I have to fight against. I want to be proof that faith in God can help anybody weather any storms. I'm clinging closely to God and giving this fight all that I have within me.
I'm taking it one step at a time and giving it to God because it is only through Him that I will win this fight.
My mom said that I have to keep my eyes on the future, knowing that things will get better. I have hope in that, even now, when my disorders are raging. Faith was built for the unknown. And it is through faith that I keep moving forward. Our faith is built on knowing that we do not know what is to come, but we can step forward, trusting in a God who holds everything in His hands.
Better days will come...
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