Trusting God

“Faith always involves stepping out, letting go, risking something.”

-Steven James, Becoming Real

Today was my official last day at my job that I’ve held for the past two and a half months. I wasn’t fired. It was just a summer job that I knew would end at the end of the summer.

When I first got the job, it took a lot of faith to actually take it. To get up each morning and go to work was seemingly out of the picture at the time. As many of you know, last semester was full of hospitalizations for me.

Four hospitalizations to be exact.

When I applied for this job, I really felt God calling me to do it. I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to, but I knew He was calling me to do it. You know how sometimes you just know. It was the first and only job I applied to and interviewed for. When I received the news that I got the job on the same day I interviewed, I was ecstatic.

And scared.

At the time I got the job, I had only been out of the hospital for nearly two months. I had no idea what would happen if I took the job. I was terrified that I would lose it if I went to the hospital again. I was afraid I’d mess up somehow. I didn’t know how my boss would react to a hospitalization.

I was terrified actually.

I flat out was not sure if I could handle a job in the state I was in, still being paranoid and having many flashbacks a day.

But I trusted God.

I knew He was calling me to work. I knew He was calling me to trust Him and that things would get better. It took a lot to trust Him, but I did.

It’s been over 4 months without a hospitalization. I’ve had a lot of stressful events but I didn’t give up. I kept getting up every morning and forced myself to go to work, whether or not I felt like it. Working a part time job was perfect because I got some time to myself to focus on healing.

Working this summer has also given me a lot of confidence in myself. I know I’m ready to handle school again.

Sometimes following what God has called you to do is difficult and scary. He often asks you to trust Him with unknown circumstances.

However, when you do what God wants you to do, great things can happen.