Anxious Thoughts

Good morning...

I woke up with very high anxiety. A thousand scary things ran through my mind the second I woke up. I had a few nightmares last night and it was really difficult to get back to sleep. I don't know if that's why my anxiety is high or if it's other stuff going on, like the stuff with my family.

To be completely honest, I am very scared of losing someone very close to me.

As I've shared in past posts, my oldest brother committed suicide in 2007 when I was 17. It scares me that it could happen again. Mental illness not only comes to steal the normality of life, but it also comes to destroy lives. You can't really play around with mental illness.

I took my meds first thing when I woke up because I'm hoping my antianxiety medication kick in and help. I have three classes and a meeting to get through today so I'm hoping that this anxiety storm can move past me today. It feels like a cloud of anxiety is surrounding me. This is not where I want to be the second week of classes.

I just want to get rid of it. As humans, we were not made to be anxious. We were not made to live in anxiety all the time. It takes a lot out of me to fight the anxious thoughts and to move forward.

But I'm willing to fight, as I always have been. I have to give it all to God.