Baby Steps

I just saw a guy that I have a mild crush on so pardon any distractions in this post.

Most of you have probably heard the saying, "baby steps." Many refer to it when they are talking about overcoming something or moving forward through something challenging and difficult.

My Facebook status this morning was:

On my way to work. I can't believe I've held this job for two months already and that Saturday will be four months since my last hospitalization. One step at a time.

There aren't really words that can describe my journey with multiple mental illnesses, but when moments like this happen, I am ecstatic. If you had told me in April, when I just got out of my fourth hospitalization since January, that I would be able to hold a job and be out of the hospital for four months, I don't think I would have believed you.

It's been a journey. That's for sure.

It's not easy keeping a job while dealing with mental illness. I am lucky because my job tends to help me. It keeps my mind off of the illnesses and gives me something to do. I have had points when I was paranoid at work, but I've learned to keep it to myself in a way. I hide it.

Part of dealing with mental illness is being aware of "yourself." I've learned to take notice of the small mental illness things and I ask for help when they get worse. You learn to listen to the signs. For example, I noticed when I was paranoid and called my doctor to change my medication. 

I'm actually seeing my psychiatrist this afternoon and I'm going to see if we can adjust the meds one more time. We had talked about another change the last time we met, so I'm hoping this adjustment will help.

I feel like everything is coming together really nicely and I couldn't be more excited. I've been out of the hospital for four months. I've been able to keep a job for two months. I'm moving forward every single day. One step at a time.

I have a lot of hope...