“The valleys of life are unavoidable. But even
though we must all pass through them, they don’t have to be valleys of fear.
They don’t have to destroy us. There can be encouragement and peace in the
valleys of life. The truth is we encounter God in those places in a way that is
closer and clearer than at any other time in our lives.”
-Dr. Mac Brunson, Paralyzed by Fear or Empowered
by Hope
We all have times of struggle. Times of pain.
Times of grief. Times when we just want to curl up in a ball and cry for hours.
Many people know that I have been through many
trials and tribulations throughout my life. Many people have told me that I
have been through more in my 24 years than most people go through in a
lifetime. There has not been one easy phase in my life. People who know the
deepest and darkest points in my life have said that
my story is one of, if not, the worst stories they have ever heard.
And yet, I love my life. God has worked in my life
and drawn me very close to Himself through my struggles.
As I blogged about a few days ago, I am not doing
any research anymore. This has left me in a financial bind, since I was being
paid for my research. However, I trusted that God would provide and He did. I
trust that God will provide me with the discernment in His purposes for me.
“In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of
good cheer; I have overcome the world.”
-John 16:33b (KJV)
Even in my current phase of uncertainty, I have a
lot of faith that God will lead me to what He wants me to do with my life. God
has plans for us that we cannot even imagine. I honestly feel like I should be
really anxious right now, but I’m not. I have put my trust in God and I am
excited to see what He has in store for me.
During my most recent psychotic episode, I kept
reciting Bible verses. I recited the Lord’s prayer over and over. I know
firsthand that when we recite Scripture in our greatest times of fear and
confusion, God will bless us and heal us. It was in those times when I recited
Scripture that I felt comforted even in my frightening psychosis.
I do not know when or if I will have my next
psychotic episode. The last one was resistant to medication, so there is a
possibility that I may have another one. But I am actually not afraid. I trust
that God will help me to get through it if it comes, since He has helped me get
through two episodes already. The enemy wants us to live in fear. He wants us
not to trust in God. He wants us to stop reading and reciting Scripture. But
the truth is that we have the power to either spend our lives in fear and
doubt, or spend our lives trusting God and be filled with peace and hope. It is
through trusting in Him that we find ultimate healing and comfort.
“No matter how bad our circumstances may be God
will ultimately bring good out of them. That never changes. We change our minds,
but God does not. Our moods shift, but God does not. Our devotion wanes, but
God’s devotion never falters. We have the ultimate security in knowing that one
thing will never change: God is good.”
-Dr. Mac Brunson, Paralyzed by Fear or Empowered
by Hope
I know firsthand that God truly can bring good
out of our most difficult times. Even though I have been through many painful
things in my life, I feel like one of the most blessed people on earth. God has
provided me with wisdom and a testimony of His grace and mercy. God has provided
me with encouraging people to help me on my journey. God has provided for me
time and time again when I did not know how to keep moving forward. God has
filled me with His strength, hope and peace which surpass all understanding.
It is in our deepest points when we meet God and
hear from Him more clearly.
This is why I believe that our struggles and
obstacles in our lives can be turned into great blessings.
I’m going to admit that I have asked God why He
has allowed so many awful things to happen in my life. I have asked Him if He
really cares about me. I have yelled at Him, full of frustration and anger. But
He continues to help me on the journey, on the path He has called me to take.
When I look back on my life and see all the difficult things that God has
carried me through, I thank Him. I would not be here if it were not for His
strength and guidance.
This life is not easy, but if we trust God and
let Him work in our lives, we never truly know what He is going to do or where
He will lead us.
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