Fear into Hope, Darkness into Light

Fear.

Though it's a four-letter word, it carries with it a ton of meaning. This past week, our nation has been shocked by events that have caused fear to run through our veins, the very essence of who we are as a society and a nation.

Some fear is healthy and necessary. Lately, due to my numerous hospitalizations, I was fearful of losing my position at work due to my absence and my inability to complete all the work. That fear was healthy, in the fact that it allowed me to be prepared when I ended up losing my position this past week. Because I had mentally prepared for the loss of my job, I was better able to handle the loss emotionally.

However, the fear that has been instilled in so many of our lives after the attacks this week is, I believe, unhealthy. I believe that we should not have to live in a world in which we are afraid to go to the movies, go to school, or even run a marathon.

How do we pick ourselves up from these attacks which instill so much fear in us? How do we move forward to become a more peaceful nation and world?

I believe that it begins with each one of us.

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; 

but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

-2 Timothy 1:7 (KJV)

I believe that in order to move forward, we need to remember who our Creator is and though these attacks are becoming more frequent, we serve a God who is in control. He is more powerful than we can imagine. We can trust in Him through any attacks, whether on a personal or national level. I do not have the answers to why God would allow these attacks to happen, but what I do know is that God hurts with us, He was and is not absent, that He wants us to heal and is there for us as we heal.

Personally, I have put a lot of trust in God these past few days, having lost my job. I fully trust that He will lead me to where I need to go and what I need to do. I believe that this is not only applicable to my own life, but to all of our lives and our nation as a whole. No matter what, we need to trust God.

As someone who lives with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), an anxiety disorder, I often live in panic. I have a lot of fear not only during my nightmares and flashbacks, but also of when I will have the next one. On top of that, I have been having psychotic episodes due to schizoaffective disorder. At the onset of the psychotic episodes, I become very paranoid. I live in a state of fear that everyone is talking about me and conspiring to get rid of me.

Living in a state of fear all the time is not how God intends us to live. Just like it would be insane and unhealthy for Boston to have a complete shutdown all the time, it is unhealthy for us to be in such a state of fear that we emotionally and mentally have a complete shutdown.

That's just not how we are meant to live.

I believe that the peace in our world begins with each one of us. It involves praying for those who are in the affected areas of all the disasters and attacks. It involves donating blood or signing up to be an organ donor. It involves showing others the love of God and that the God we serve is not part of these attacks or disasters. It involves moving forward from these attacks in such a way that the fear doesn't rule our lives or our nation. We cannot give fear control.

We serve a God who heals. We serve a God who protects. We serve a God who picks us up. We serve a God who loves us unconditionally. We serve a God who is there each step of the way during recovery. We serve a God who is not just a God in the sky but One who is with us and within us.

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear."

-1 John 4:18a (NIV)

My prayer is that through each of us, God's love and light shines brightly to those around us. Whether or not you are in Boston, you can make a difference in the world.

In every interaction we have an opportunity to either make someone's day brighter or make it worse. Just this morning, I had an opportunity to make someone's day. I was waiting for the bus and there was a blind man beside me. A few buses came by and I told him which bus number it was after he told me which one he needed to take. When the correct bus came, I told him it was the one and he thanked me. This interaction took a matter of ten minutes, but I was able to help him and show that I cared. I tell this story not to say how great I am, but to show that we cannot just rely on the lawmakers to make our world more peaceful; we need to work together, with each of us playing a role.

How can each of us help each other through this darkness, fear and confusion?

Each of us needs to make the most of every opportunity and interaction to make a difference in this world.

More laws may help us but a more peaceful world honestly and truthfully begins with each one of us. Through us, the light and love of God can shine to make this world more peaceful and hopeful.