Always Keep Ya Head Up

As I sat in my chair at church this morning, I listened to my pastor ask important questions that made me think. The sermon was about how God creates new things; not only by creating new things, but also by renewing old things. I feel deeply that in the past few months, God has renewed me in a mighty way. He has helped me to understand who I am on a deeper level.

 “In love I am blessed, chosen, adopted, favored, redeemed and forgiven.”

-Beth Moore, Believing God

To me, these are not just cute or nice little words on a page of a book I’m currently reading. They are real in my life and they are becoming more real each and every day as I draw closer to God. The truth in those words is being revealed every second.

They are true for you as well.

I have often struggled with a kind of dichotomous view of myself. On one hand, I am a very successful person who has overcome tremendous odds to get to where I am. I believe I am strong and brave. But on the other hand, I feel intensely ashamed, alone, and frightened, as I relive past traumatic experiences on a daily basis through flashbacks due to PTSD.

Having PTSD is like a roller coaster ride. One minute, I'm with friends, happily talking and then the next minute, I'm back there, fighting for my life, holding back the tears. Needless, to say, it has taken a lot of strength and courage to get to where I am. Lately, I have been reminding myself after flashbacks that I am strong and brave.

No matter what others say to you, no matter what others do to you, you and I are still God’s children and we are part of a greater family. We should never forget who we are in Him; that we are His beautiful children.

No matter what happens in this life, we never lose our worth in God’s eyes.

Even if you’ve been abused for years.

Even if you’ve been neglected for years.

Even if you’ve been homeless.

Even if you’ve lost people close to you.

Even if you’ve had people call you stupid.

Even if you’ve had people tease you.

Even if you’ve had people tell you that you’re not going to get anywhere in life.

All of those things have happened to me. I can honestly say that I have struggled to find my identity in Christ, especially when I think about what others have done and said to me. But each day, I am getting closer to the truth of who I am in Christ. I am not a victim in His eyes. I am a survivor because He carried me through everything. I have nothing to be ashamed of because He has forgiven me. He is the reason I am still here and He gives me the courage to move forward.

He wants to restore us. He wants to forgive us. He wants to help us move forward.

I want to leave you with a song that has given me a lot of strength since the first time I heard it. I can relate to this song on so many levels. It talks about the fact that sometimes our family hurts us or is not there for us and it takes many people to raise a child. As a teenager, trying to get into foster care, I often wondered what family was. I struggled to understand who I was through all the turmoil in my family. I had never known what it is like to have a family that was not in turmoil. I was told by a few people that I had to make my own family with those around me, since my real family was not there for me. Everywhere that I have moved, I continue to make a family with those around me. And along the journey, I try to continually figure out who I am within the family of God and who I am in Christ.

But one thing is for sure...

I am one of God's children.