I'm a Dreamer

Today has been an incredible day. By today, I mean yesterday. I am writing this post on Sunday night but posting it tomorrow, which is today. How many people are confused?

I'm sorry for any confusion but I wanted to write this while I am still "in the moment."

Anyways, I want to tell you that today has been an awesome day because I decided that I am reapplying to PhD programs across the country. I came to this decision because of my ongoing stability on the medications I'm taking. I've been out of the hospital for 5 months and 5 days. It's also 3 and a half weeks into the semester and I'm not stressed out even though I'm taking an overload of courses. My stress level is at a healthy level- enough to make me do my work and study, but not enough to trigger my PTSD, bipolar and schizophrenia.

My point being... I am ready to make my dream of receiving a PhD happen.

I say this because I think many people give up on their dreams because things happen. As my calculus teacher in high school said, "Sith happens." Yes, Blogger, I spelled it right. Thank you very much. I think we all know what my professor was trying to say.

Last semester, I had four hospitalizations. I remember in my fourth hospitalization, the doctors, nurses and techs told me to withdraw from school. They told me not to take F's. They thought there was no way to pass my classes after missing nearly 6 weeks. Well, I worked my butt off the last two weeks of school and received an A, B and B+. What others thought was impossible was possible, because of my stubbornness and resilience. If I had listened to the nay-sayers, I often wonder where I'd be.

Last semester was chaotic, scary and all-out the hardest semester of my life, but I made it through because at the end of the day, I was resilient and never gave up. To me, withdrawing wasn't even an option. So I pushed on ahead.

Now, as I pick myself up, I am moving forward and fulfilling the dream I've had since I was in my first year of college.

Never give up. Go for your dreams. Go for the goals God has set in your head. Don't let circumstances ruin your dreams. You never know where your dreams will take you...