When I got there, I was met by the sweet caress of leaves falling off of the trees all around me. There is something magical about standing in the wind with hundreds of leaves falling. A whisper from God. A sign of autumn. Also a sign of change and moving forward.
I've been undergoing a lot of change. My paranoia is getting better. My PTSD is getting better. It's been nearly five months since I've had a hospitalization. Things are finally looking up.
As I walked around the lake, I thought a lot about last semester, when it seems like I was in a cloud of darkness with my severe paranoia and psychosis. The lake provided the hope and peace I needed to get through it. I met white birds who helped me get to the hospital once. I was comforted by them at the right time. I grew to love the lake and everything about it.
I've been wondering how I even got through last semester and my answer is by far my trips to the lake. The lake is where I found God last semester. It is where I found peace and comfort amidst one of the most difficult battles of my life.
I spent most of my time there. At the end of the semester, I even read and did homework by the lake. I found that I could concentrate better there.
I've spent nearly a whole year at the lake and I've seen how the lake has changed over the course of a year. It is nothing short of extraordinary. Seeing how much it changes has been a reminder that we as people change. I am not in the state I was last semester, which is a complete blessing. And as I keep moving forward, I hope I can continue to change for the better.
Change can be a great thing.
Change can be a great thing.
I want to leave you with a song about how Jesus changes us, a song I've heard a lot in the past few days:
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