Broken Into Beautiful

Today marks 5 months since my last hospitalization. I was released on April 10, my birthday. I will never forget my excitement about getting discharged, since I had spent 8 lonely days in the scary psych unit in the hospital. When I was released, I was so scared of going back there. I wanted nothing but to stay out of the hospital. And here I am, 5 months later, much more stable and back in school.

God has strengthened me and held me up when I most needed it. He has guided me and helped me through great difficulties, never leaving me. I feel His presence nearly every day, if not every day. It is only through Him that I have come this far.

Today, I wanted to write a poem about what it is like to be broken and be transformed. I first was inspired to write this poem yesterday when I came across a broken branch on the ground as I walked home from a class. I saw the beauty in the brokenness, just like I believe there is beauty in my brokenness.

Broken Into Beautiful

Broken
Shattered
Twisted
This Way and That Way
Darkness overwhelming
No way Up
Only Down
Deeper
         Deeper
                  Into a Depression
                  Or Mania
                  Or Psychosis
                  Or Paranoia
         Deeper
Deeper
The Noise
The Chaos
...
And yet
A Hand reaches Down
The Hand of God

Full of Light
The epitome of Beauty
Lifting me Up
                  Higher
                            Higher
                                     Into the Light
                            Higher
                 Higher
Towards Hope
Transforming me
Healing me
Rescuing me
Strengthening me
Bent but not broken

Broken Into Beautiful