"Some of the most wondrous events grow out of what appears to be disasters... Today, I know that even when my situation looks bleak and I can't see any way out, miracles can happen if I turn my will and my life over to God."
-Courage to Change (Alanon book), Feb. 17 Devotion
In case you don't notice, I accidentally read the February 17 devotion this morning. I am in the middle of watching a movie and very tired but the quote above really spoke to me.
Sometimes when everything looks negative in our lives, that's when we need the most faith. For me, last year when I was going through all of the paranoia and psychosis, I went to the lake all the time to speak to God. My faith in God grew through going to the lake, day after day. I remember going and being surrounded by leaves falling. It felt like God was whispering to me that He loves me. Even in the darkest of circumstances, I felt the light and love of God.
Currently, I am applying for jobs like crazy. I don't know what will happen from here, but I have faith that God has a wonderful plan for my life and that He will never leave me. It's been a few weeks since I started applying and I haven't heard anything, so I'm beginning to get frustrated. That's when I need to trust God the most.
For now, I am enjoying life while applying for jobs, working on my first book, reading books and watching movies. I can honestly say that I am enjoying life as it comes. Especially since I'm taking my meds...
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