Positive Outlook

"You have to stop thinking bad things are going to happen and look forward to all that is waiting for you. There's a good life ahead of you, but only if you choose to accept it."
-R.B.Mitchell, Castaway Kid

This quote stood out to me this morning, because I realized that lately, I have been thinking more positively about my future. I am really positive about moving home to NJ and finding a job.

A few months ago, my pastor said to me, "You have a story whether or not something tragic happens this year." It was in this moment that I realized that I had a choice to make about whether or not I would be positive about my future, despite my mental illness and other challenges. It made me realize that the rest of this year didn't have to be full of hospitalizations.

I had a choice.

I think it is this positive outlook that has carried me so far without a hospitalization. When I first got out of the hospital in April, each day was a challenge and I thought I was headed back to the hospital "any day now."

But now, almost 8 months later, I don't live my life like that anymore. I live it, knowing that if I take my medications and go to therapy and psychiatrist appointments, I do not have to go to the hospital. I know I can stay stable and function successfully.

I don't live my life each day wondering if I'm going to go back to the hospital anymore. I live knowing that I have a bright future despite dealing with multiple mental illnesses. I live knowing that I can stay out of the hospital.

I am graduating with a Masters in Biomedical Engineering in 7 days, despite 5 hospitalizations and dealing with schizoaffective disorder (schizophrenia and bipolar) and PTSD. I am not only the first person in my family to graduate from college but I am also the first one to graduate with a Masters.

There is something to be said about having a positive attitude. Nothing is impossible.