Last 10 Minutes

"God actually chooses people on purpose who actually cannot do what He is asking unless they allow Him to do it through them."
-Joyce Meyer, Power Thoughts

I don't know why exactly this quote stood out to me yesterday as I read it, but it did. I guess.. because maybe I still feel like the fact that I received a Masters degree is a compete miracle.

You see, what makes this achievement so special to me is that it took everything I had and that I had to overcome such tremendous odds to get it. I had to fight in order to receive it. It was not just handed to me. It only took me a year and a half to get the degree and in that time, I was hospitalized five times and missed over 2 months of school. Not only that, but I had to deal with paranoia, psychosis and mania on a daily basis.

I'm still reading Joyce Meyer's book and I have to say that I do not always agree with what she has to say, but I do agree when she says that our thoughts play a huge role in how we live. If we think negative thoughts, then our lives tend to be more negative... Ever heard of self-fulfilling prophecy?!

I made a choice that I would receive my degree and that nothing, absolutely NOTHING, could stand in my way, not even schizoaffective disorder or PTSD.

I had three major exams at the end of the semester and I realized that they could make or break me receiving my degree. I had had a previous exam earlier in the semester that I failed because I totally blanked out and could not remember anything that I had studied... Needless to say, I was scared that this would happen again.

But I got into a routine before I took my exams. I studied for many hours, going over the material again and again. I took the exams at an exam center for students with disabilities so I went there a few hours before to study. But when it came to ten minutes before the exam, I put on my headphones and jammed out to inspirational songs I have on my iPhone. I did not spend the last 10 minutes studying. Instead, I chose to listen to music so I could calm my anxiety and get in the right state of mind for my exams. This worked!... Going into the exam, I felt energetic and peaceful, ready to take it and pass. I knew I could do it.

I believe that our thoughts really do help us through difficulties and that we have a choice over what to think.

What will you choose?