Depending on God

Something that God has been teaching me since I moved very far from nearly everyone I have ever known in my life is that we need to fully depend on Him. For me, and I think many others, it is often easier to depend on other human beings than on God because they are always visible to us and we are able to communicate with them in sometimes a much more clear way than how we sometimes hear from God.

I can say from experience that God speaks to all of us, but sometimes it is not always very simple to hear from Him, because of the noise that is part of our world and many other things that pull us away from our relationship with God.

This week was tremendously difficult for me, which is why I have not really posted in the latter part of the week. During the most difficult times, I tried to contact a few different people. Sometimes in our most difficult moments in life, our gut move often is to just call someone that we are close to. But they are not always available. They may not always be in the right mood to listen to what you are going through. They may be going through their own struggles and may not be in the right frame of mind to help you. There are a myriad of reasons why others may not always be available exactly when you need someone to support you.

The most awesome thing is that no matter what, God is always there. He is with you in every moment, every situation, every aspect of your life. I do not believe that there is necessarily a “wrong” or “right” way to pray, because God understands us and accepts us for who we are. He is working in all of our lives and He listens to all of us, whether we have our heads bowed, our arms lifted, or whatever. He is always listening.

And if we open our ears, eyes, hearts and minds to His voice, we are able to hear Him much more clearly.

This morning I had an incredibly rough conversation on the phone with someone and it ended up making things worse. After the conversation, I went to the lake where I hear and see God very clearly through the wildlife, the trees, the clouds, the sun… all of His creation.

After the 2 hour conversation in which my anxiety increased to an off-the-charts level, I sat at the lake with multiple thoughts speeding through my mind.

“Nobody cares… You’re alone… Nobody understands.”

Anybody who knows me knows that I listen to music nonstop, except when I am in meetings or sleeping. Someone the other day said to me they have never seen me without headphones in my ears. At the time, I was listening to Pandora on my phone and the song “Sweetly Broken” came on as I was reading a book.

The second that song came on, I looked up and I saw a white bird soar from the edge of the lake towards a grassy area further away. At the same time, a huge sense of peace and calm washed through my body and the rapid thoughts just stopped, something I do not think I have ever experienced. I've definitely felt a sense of peace before, but I have never experienced my anxiety being completely washed out of my entire body.

The vast majority of the times that I feel the most calm and peace are when I feel God’s presence the most... when I depend on Him the most, especially when I feel the most alone.

I will leave you with this passage and I hope that you take some time out to explore how you communicate with God:

“My soul, wait thou only upon God; 

for my expectation is from him. 

He only is my rock and my salvation: 

he is my defence; 

I shall not be moved. 

In God is my salvation and my glory: 

the rock of my strength, 

and my refuge, is in God. 

Trust in him at all times; 

ye people, pour out your heart before him: 

God is a refuge for us."

 –Psalm 62:5-8 (KJV)