Hidden Blessings

I replay a lot of my daily conversations with people over and over in my head. Things people say. Things people do. Stares. Smiles. Frowns. I like to take a conversation apart and take it piece by piece, investigating in my own way. Processing it. Understanding it.

Someone recently told me something that has stuck with me. This person said that, to them, my achievements don't matter, my education does not matter, and other things like that don't matter. What matters is that I show up for treatment even on the challenging days.

I may not do everything perfectly or have all of the answers, but I know that I surely am doing my best living with some difficult circumstances.

Some people may question why I am so honest and deep about my illnesses. I believe in helping others without mental illnesses understand what it is like to live with symptoms every single day.

I wish I had a car. I wish I had a house of my own. I wish I had kids. I wish I was not 27 and barely have anything. I wish I have achieved more.

But to tell you the truth, I have been blessed with difficulties. I am blessed to have mental illnesses. I am blessed to be alive. I am blessed to have people around me who are wonderful, supportive and encouraging, especially my awesome boyfriend. I am blessed to be where I am at in my recovery. I am blessed to be able to smile even on the tough days, like today. I am blessed with laughter til I cry. I am blessed to be alive. I am blessed to have been born. I am blessed to have a mother in my life who has shown that she cares very deeply for me and has supported me a lot recently. I am blessed to have a wonderful brother who is in my life and adds so much happiness to my day. I am blessed to be forgiven for my mistakes every single day. I am blessed to have so many friends who love me for who I am without trying to change me. I am blessed to be educated. I am blessed to live in America. I am blessed that the Dark Ages is over. I am blessed in more ways than I can count. And this list could go on...

I am blessed with life. 

Why am I saying that I am blessed with difficulties? Why am I saying it is blessed to go through things that make me cry myself to sleep during the night sometimes?

It is in our deepest and darkest moments that we find God's strength with us. It is in our deepest and darkest moments that we develop hope. It is in our deepest and darkest moments that we find meaning and purpose in our lives.

We are all blessed. Remember how blessed we all are to have our lives, this opportunity to shine God's love and light into such a dark and troubled world.