Side Effects

This is what the sunrise looked like this morning. I don't think the photo does the sunrise justice. It was absolutely magnificent.

It was honestly really nice to wake up to a beautiful sunrise. I have had nightmares for the past few weeks, every single night. Needless to say, my nights have not been full of peaceful rest.

As much as I love being stable, the medications I'm on have serious side effects and I may ask my psychiatrist to change them to other medications. It's scary to change medications but I think it may be time... and so does my therapist.

On the medications, I've gained about 40 pounds and had memory loss issues, among other side effects.

For example, I failed my third midterm... very badly. I studied for over 15 hours, got to the exam and literally forgot everything I had studied. I guessed on the majority of the exam. To say it was frustrating is a grave understatement. I knew the material, but could not recall anything. I'm used to memorizing everything in a couple hours and getting high A's on every exam. I have tried not to be hard on myself, especially since I can drop the grade, but I'm frustrated that my memory is not as good as it used to be. I do not feel as confident as I did.

Psychoactive medications can be frustrating with various side effects, but I will continue to move forward.