Running Towards, Not Away

Where do I begin talking about this week?! This week was awesome, fantastic, supercalifragilistically amazing, terrific and beautiful..

Why?

Well, I challenged myself bigtime in terms of dealing with my symptoms. Usually I try to steer away from difficult conversations and situations. In fact, I usually run away. Literally.

But after last weekend when I hung out with friends and saw a movie even though I was scared of being paranoid, I realized that I needed to push myself more.

I did not run from the difficulties this week. I decided to take my life back and fight the good fight even more than usual.

That is huge progress for me, as I have PTSD and most times I run away, as I mentioned. This avoidance is classic for PTSD. But I put myself in situations that challenged me. And if I thought I would leave the situation or conversation, I purposely put myself in a spot where it would purposely be difficult to leave.

It is not that I do not have symptoms, Trust me, I had them every day this week. Multiple times a day. That was what made it even more meaningful when I did not run away.

The most poignant part of my beautiful week was that I went to ShopRite a few hours ago. Not just a ShopRite, but one of the most busy and hectic ShopRites in my area. In fact, I am known to have paranoid breakdowns in that store.

However, I went in by myself and breezed through the store, something I never thought I would ever say.

What a wonderful end to this week.

Better yet, I have been prescribed a PRN, which is an as-needed medication, for my anxiety. I was due for getting a refill a few days ago. But I did not get it refilled because I still have 38 pills, enough for 19 more days. I just find that I do not need it anymore.

Progress, not perfection, y'all.

This life is a journey.