Where I Find God

I started this blog/website a few years ago to help others know what life is like when faced with severe illness, mental specifically. I wanted to let people in on my life as I deal with schizoaffective disorder and PTSD.,

To tell you the truth, somedays are really hard. I graduated with my Masters degree in Biomedical Engineering, despite my illnesses getting worse and worse. However, I have not worked in a little less than 2 years. I cannot even go to work without having paranoid symptoms. Sometimes I find myself even having trouble going to the grocery store.

Along with struggling with parnoia, I have daily struggles with hallucinations (visual and audio), mania, depression, psychosis and intense flashbacks.

Yes, I daily struggle, but to be completely honest, I love the life I have, despite the countless struggles I have faced and face daily.

Everyone on this earth has something that they struggle with. I believe we are called to make the most of the short life we are given.

I do not watch TV. I do not own a TV. I dont want to own a TV, Even still, I hear a lot of news on Facebook. I heard about the recent riots, That deeply saddens me that there is not more peace around the world. Why can't we just love others?

For me, recemtly, I feel that I am called to fulfill my dream to run in the NYC marathon. Running is an escape for me. I love running with Christin music blasting through my ear. There is nothing so powerful. Every time I run or walk I am able to raise money for charities.

As a little child, growing up in a toxic childhood, I quickly gravitated to the woods behind my house. That was where I first encountered God, even despite surviving severe abuse. I feel Gods presence when I run, surrounded by the creations of God. There is something very motivating and inspiring about feeling God''s presence. I can't really put it into words.

I have not felt God's presence in a few months. But when I ran down a triail close to my new home a few days ago, I felt Him in a way that I have not in a long time. Nature is magical like that. It is where I go to meet God. It is where I am remindeed how truly beautiful this life really is.  Nature is where I feel peace within...