Hope is a winning battle

Over two years ago I began this blog project. It has been a space for me to reflect, encourage, persevere and fight for a better day.

Then comes the name of my blog. "Hope Rising." And even though I have been dealt many hard cards in my life, even more so recently, nothing seems to stop me from moving forward. What does hope mean? It is the desire to move forward despite any external difficult circumstances because you know in your deepest of depths within your heart, mind, body, soul and spirit that a better day will come. You do not know exactly when it will come but you just know. If you have hope, there is not anything that can stop you from achieving your dreams. The unremarkable becomes remarkable. The ordinary becomes extraordinary. 

For so many years, I hoped to be believed. I strived to be believed. Not that I wanted people to pity me. It's more that I hoped I would be heard. I hoped that someone would take me seriously and help me take the necessary steps to better my life. This came after not being believed by a pastor, who also thought my suicide attempt in high school was a play for attention. No comment. Now people are starting to take me seriously and believe me to the point that I am almost uncomfortable. I am safe yet I do not know what it feels like to be safe. Even more than that, I don't know what it's like to be heard, really heard.

My greatest hopes are being realized now and it is an incredible feeling. I never truly realized what "hope rises after the storm" means until now. But to me God has shed a whole new light on it in my life. I have gone through turmoil from the minute I was born until now and I am taking actions in my life to alleviate the turmoil. No life should be in constant fear. No life should be taken advantage of and blamed for things outside their control. Nobody should have to be used, mistreated or abused so for now, I am standing up for myself and rightfully so. No more sitting under the bleachers, being spat on or abused and yelled at when the home team loses. No, I am sitting on the bleachers, having fun and encouraging other people in their lives with God. No longer an outsider.

Community is what this life is about. Not all of it but in life, we need to listen to each other, not argue or fight. We need to believe each other and stand up for each other.

My hope for today is that we can all find hope, someway somehow. Hope is not a losing battle. It is a winning battle. Hope helps us to overcome our deepest fears and things we are dealt here.