Powerful God Moment

About an hour ago, I had one of the most powerful God moments in my life.

I left my friends' house to go home and it looked like it was going to rain. It started drizzling, so I thought it was fine. I kept walking and halfway around the lake, there was torrential rain. The trees were swaying as if it were a hurricane. The rain hit hard against every part of my body. The water in the lake became waves due to the powerful winds.

I took this very short video...

At this time, I had my phone playing Chris Tomlin's "Glory in the Highest." It was one of the most powerful moments in my life because I felt everything around me and I saw the glory and power and might of God. I praised God through the wind and the rain.

I kept walking and I got around a corner and all of a sudden, it was calm. It was peaceful. The sky opened up to blue sky once again. This past week, as many of you know, was one of the most tough in the past few years. I had to deal with a lot of paranoia and anxiety. I thought I might have to go into the hospital, but this whole situation of nature reminded me that if you just keep going around the corner, if you keep looking past your current situation, you will keep moving forward into the life that God has laid out for you.

Here is a photo I took a few minutes after the video was taken.

Holy God, we thank you for the moments through which you remind us of how powerful You are. Thank you for being with us through all the moments of our lives. We are in awe of your wondrous works throughout nature and our daily lives. We ask that you please bless us and help us to keep going around the corner, keep moving forward and help us to find You even in the most difficult of circumstances. Amen.

Never Give In...

I think it's been a few months since I last posted. But through that time, there have been points where I wanted to blog but didn't know what to say. I don't know when my next post will be but I had some stuff to say...

Currently I am not working because I am still mentally ill. I am sick. One of the first questions I get from people is where I work. I don't always know what to say so I just say I'm sick and not able to work. Someone I talked to the other day said "Well you don't look sick." I left it at that although I wanted to tell the person that mental illness is often invisible. When I'm paranoid or psychotic and I know it, I try not to let other people in on it. Sometimes for fear that they may make fun of me and make it worse.

Not too long ago, I celebrated my 13 month anniversary of being out of the hospital. This past week has been one of the most difficult weeks in a long time. I've been more paranoid and anxious than normal. Some personal things came up that I have to sort through. But I am very happy to have been able to stay out of the hospital. The one thing I have learned the most through being mentally ill is that you never should give up. Often I write about motivational things and I don't always know what to say to motivate others except to say that you should look at how God has carried you through the difficult times in your life.

If you're like me, you've noticed God's fingerprint even in the most difficult of circumstances. God has guided me, held my hand and been there through everything, even when I am at my sickest. When I was in the hospital last year, even in my worst paranoid thinking, I recited the Lord's Prayer. Looking back on that, I know it was God getting through to me even in the darkest times, letting me know He was there with me.

I am really excited about something that is happening in my life. My brother and I are beginning to train for a Half Marathon next year and then hopefully doing the NYC Marathon the next year. This has been a dream of mine ever since I was a little kid. There is something about running 26.2 miles that motivates the mind. There are times when running that you want to give up. You want to give in to your tired muscles. You're completely out of breath. You just want to stop but then you get a runner's high and you keep going, even through the darkest moments of the race.

And I believe that's what God wants for each of us in this thing we call life. He wants each of us to keep going, to not give up, to fight until the end, to keep going despite the bad voices...