Blessings in Hard Times

"There is no conflict man can endure that will not produce a blessing."
-Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years

I completely agree with Don Miller when he says that conflicts in our lives can bring blessings. Even the most difficult times in my life have brought blessing.

Sometimes going through tough times makes us more aware of the beauty in our lives, the good times that may have gone unnoticed had we not gone through difficulties.

When my oldest brother died, I went to my high school and gave speeches about not doing drugs or drinking. Through his death, I was able to tell my story and his story at my school, something I never thought about until after he died. I hope that I made a difference in at least one person's life.

When I was homeless, I ended up volunteering at a camp for kids and adults with special needs. It was one of the most blessed times in my life, even in such hardship.

As you go through life, remember that sometimes the hardest times in our lives are actually blessings in disguise.

Living Each Day

"The experience is so slow you could easily come to believe life isn't that big of a deal, that life isn't staggering. What I'm saying is I think life is staggering and we're used to it. We all are like spoiled children no longer impressed with the gifts we're given- it's just another sunset, just another rainstorm moving in over the mountain, just another child being born, just another funeral."
-Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years

How powerful is this quote? It makes me want to enjoy life even more than I am already.

I went to a Book Club last night at my library. I did not know who would be there but I ended up knowing someone. I had an absolute blast and it reminded me that it's the small things in life that we need to enjoy, the precious gifts we have from God. Last night was full of laughter to the point of crying as we discussed the book. To say it was full of fun is an understatement.

I agree that life is so slow sometimes that we forget to appreciate the beauty of what God has given us. We think it's just another day. But we need to be reminded that every day is a beautiful and wonderful gift from God.

I've come close to death a few times in my life so I always try to make the most of every day. You never know when your last day will be here so you must enjoy life as it comes, no matter how difficult.

Live each day as if it is your last...

The Waves Raging

"When God is the center of a soul, although disasters may crowd in on all sides and roar like the waves of the sea, there is a constant calm within."
-L. B. Cowman, Streams in the Desert, Jan. 29 Devotion

Have you ever felt like the waves are raging in your life, that things are crazy and unmanageable?

I have.

But it is in those moments that I remember that God is here for me and that nothing can take His love away from me. No matter what happens.

I have come a long way in the last year, thanks to God. There were many moments (and still are) when I am paranoid and psychotic; my mind is twisted in all directions, but I still hold on to the truth that an be found in God. He will never leave me nor forsake me, even when the waves are raging. Especially when they are raging.

It is only through God that I find calm and peace within the storms.

1000 Miles

 Yesterday, I achieved my ongoing goal of reaching 1000 miles of walking/running. Anybody who knows me knows that I have been walking with an app called Charity Miles, in which they donate 25 cents for each mile walked or run to about 20 different charities.

I have raised over $250 for some of the charities. In total, I have raised money to feed hundreds of people around the world, along with raising money for research for various diseases. Some of my favorite charities donate eyeglasses and shoes to children in need. I have walked for Habitat for Humanity and the Special Olympics as well.

There are no words to describe how much it means to me to be blessed enough to be able to walk and run for charities anywhere I want, all the time. It doesn't take much to walk a few miles and through doing that, I am able to bless many people.

If I can make a small difference in the lives of others, my life has been meaningful.

I started walking with Charity Miles after I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar disorders. I wanted something that would help me deal with the disorders. It started out as a coping mechanism, but as I realized how much walking helped others too, I made the goal to walk 1000 miles. I believe that walking has helped me to maintain my mental health enough to be 9 and a half months out of the hospital.

For now, my next goal is 2500 miles, which may take a few years. But I will achieve it. 

How Long Oh Lord

"Facing the past as it may surface in my life today doesn't mean I have to stay stuck in it... Coming to terms with my history and letting go of it does not deny what happened. Instead, it allows me to enjoy today and to move into the future, encumbered by the weight of ancient emotions."
-Hope for Today, Jan. 27 Devotion

"If we say to ourselves, 'How long, oh Lord, how long!' we are wallowing in self-pity. We have at our command the means of climbing out of the pit we are in if we will but use them."
-One Day at a Time, Jan. 27 Devotion

As most Americans did last night, I watched the Grammys (or at least the first hour and a half). I just watched Macklemore's performance of "Same Love," which included 33 couples being married, some gay, some straight, some interracial. To say it was powerful is kind of an understatement. And I began to think about how our world as a whole is moving forward.

I personally am excited about Macklemore's performance. It means that our society is moving forward.

We learn from the past but it's just that- the past. And we move forward, not by feeling bad for ourselves (self-pity) but by choosing to move forward through using what we have around us to help us. We always have the ability to move forward into what God has planned for us.

It may not always be easy to move forward, sometimes it may be downright difficult, but we always have a decision- to stay stuck in the past or to move forward into God's plan for our lives.

The Steps

"Everything about my recovery- my perceptions, attitudes, and choices- begins and ends with me."
-Hope for Today (Alanon), Jan. 26 Devotion

"I'd read the Twelfth Step many times before I saw it. But there it was: 'Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps...' What a promise! If I worked these steps, I'd have a spiritual awakening!... Those wonderful Twelfth Step words gave me the encouragement I needed to begin at the beginning. Slowly, sometimes painfully, I worked my way through the Steps. In time, something amazing happened. I was filled with a sense of my God and His love for me. I felt whole. I knew I'd never be the same again."
-Courage to Change (Alanon), Jan. 26 Devotion

What are your perceptions of A.A. and Alanon? To many who have no idea what it is, they picture people sitting in a circle saying "Hi, my name is ...... and I'm an alcoholic." After all, that's the way movies and the media portray it. They don't usually show the whole meaning of the group.

As I said a few days ago, I've been to both Alanon and AA meetings, although I've never touched alcohol. To tell you the truth, I was bothered by the steps. I don't fully know why. However, I think I just got tired of hearing them at the beginning of the meetings. I often drifted off into space...

Until now.

Reading the Alanon books every morning has given me a new take on AA and Alanon. It is not just about the steps. Like the person who wrote today's devotion, I want a spiritual awakening through the steps. I have had a strong relationship with God my whole life but I want to heal from the hurt and damage that has been done due to alcoholism in my family. And I believe the steps may be able to help.

I have begun to look at them in a new light and I see how they can offer me a way to move forward in a new way.

The Road to Healing

"We don't get to choose where we came from, but we can choose where we go from there."
-Perks of Being a Wallflower

Today is January 25, 2014.

On January 25, 2007, my life changed forever when my oldest brother committed suicide. I cannot believe it's been 7 years...

To say it's been difficult to lose a sibling is an understatement, especially at such a young age- 25 years old. I can remember the day as if it was yesterday.

I watched Perks of Being a Wallflower yesterday, without knowing much of what it was about. I had seen a trailer for it and it looked like a fun movie. It meant a lot more to me than I ever thought it would. Without giving too much away for those who haven't seen it, the main character has flashbacks to when he was a little boy and something really bad happened. At the end of the movie, he comes to terms with his past through the help of a doctor in a hospital.

It meant a lot to me, because I related to him in so many ways. It took a lot for him to move forward, as it has for me.

The quote above reminded me that we can always heal from difficult times.

In life, we will undoubtedly face difficulties. We will lose loved ones. We will have pasts that may be difficult. But we always have the choice to move forward, not forgetting what has happened but moving forward with the help of God...