Small Steps

"Today I have a chance to make a contribution to my sense of well-being. I can take some small action that will strengthen a relationship, pursue a goal, or help me to feel better about myself... My goal is simply to move in a  positive direction, knowing that major strides often begin with very small steps."
-Courage to Change (Alanon book), Feb. 7 Devotion

Slow and steady wins the race. Many of you probably have heard of that quote. I believe it really does ring true in our lives.

I have really moved forward in a lot of ways these past few months. And it began with small steps, like taking my medication every day. We don't need to make big leaps forward every day, just small and steady steps forward.

I am currently working on a book and it's a huge project. I've been working on it a little at a time and I am reminded that I am getting somewhere even though it does not always feel like I am. It is the little steps that add up to a book.

I also am looking for jobs and each resume that I send out is a small step forward, hopefully leading to me getting a job, which would be a huge leap forward.

Trust me when I say that the small steps add up...

Love of God

"In a world filled with turmoil and hopelessness, we are to pray, and we are to do all we can to alleviate suffering and bring Christ's love to others."
-Billy Graham, Hope for Each Day, Feb. 6 Devotion

I know quite a few people who are suffering.

It is our duty on this earth to help others and make sure others know about the love of God. We make His love known through how we live our lives.

In every interaction we have, we have an opportunity to shine Christ's light and love in this world. We have a choice to make of whether or not we want to help others.

I think it is a privilege to be able to help others. Every day, I try to make sure I help at least one person. It's not how good I am but how good God is.

Some know that I have been close to death a few times. I often feel as if I am on borrowed time. So I make the most of every day...

Snow, Snow and More Snow

Snow, snow and more snow!....

The weatherman said we'd only get 2-3 inches these past few days and we got 9 inches. Then it started snowing again last night and is still snowing. Then we're supposed to get more snow on Sunday. I don't know what's up with this weather, but I don't remember it snowing this much as a kid. Snow days were rare when I went to school.

However annoying this snow is, it is absolutely mesmerizing at times. I had to go to the mall to deposit a check yesterday and it was like driving through a winter wonderland. The trees with the white powdery snow looked gorgeous and majestic.

It is amazing how the snow transforms the whole landscape in a few hours. It never ceases to amaze me. My friends in Florida who have never experienced snow are missing out.

I had another great day yesterday. When I was at the mall, I met a deaf person at the bus stop who asked me to call a taxi because they couldn't talk on the phone. I got the taxi for them and they were so thankful. It was such a blessing to be able to help someone.

This weather may be driving many people nuts but I'm just going to continue to read the books I have out from the library. What can I say? I love reading... 

It's just another snuggle-up-in-blankets-and-read kind of day.

On the Other Side

Ahhh!!!!!!!!!! My excitement still is not ending...

I went outside to shovel yesterday morning and I ended up bumping into the mailman. He gave me a pile of envelopes and then he said, "There's something else." He reached inside his bag and took out a big brown roll. It said "University of Florida," so I knew it was my diploma. Along with that, I got my W-2 so I can get a tax return and the refund of my security deposit from my last apartment...

So all in all, I loved the mailman yesterday. He was the bearer of good news, unlike most days where he is the bearer of bills.

My diploma is bee-yoo-tee-ful.

It is everything I worked hard for in the past year and a half...

It means a whole lot more because of the challenges that I had to overcome in order to finish. I had four hospitalizations in the last two years of college and then five hospitalizations in my year and a half of graduate school. I suffer from severe mental illness, but that has not stopped me from achieving my dreams.

I knew I had a choice to make the last time I was released from the hospital. They wanted to put me in a state hospital and I said "no way. I am finishing what I started."

And I did....

Yesterday, I kept finding myself looking at my diploma again and again, just to make sure it was real. I can't even believe that I did it. I can and I can't. It's just so awesome that God helped me get through everything and that I came out on the other side.

I <3 life.

Icing on the Cake

Yesterday lived up to my dreams, actually beyond my dreams.

I visited my brother, as planned, and he is doing much better. I had a wonderful visit with him, full of nonstop laughter, smiles and hugs. It was absolutely delightful.

Then last night, I went to my friends' house. We hung out and watched the Superbowl. Two of my friends and I were rooting for the Seattle Seahawks and two other people at the house were rooting for the Broncos (not happily, of course).

We had so much food last night I think that I will be full for a few days. Seriously. We had Chex Mix, chips, hot wings, sausage bread, pasta and sausage, sausage and spinach pie, and to top it off, Smores (my favorite). Every time I turned around I had a new plate in front of me. It got to the point that I literally could not eat anymore. It seemed like we had two courses every quarter.

I am so blessed to have these friends and that my brother is getting better. My brother told me I'm his best friend a few days ago. We are incredibly close and we talk at least once a day (most times, twice a day).

One of the things I am most excited about is the fact that none of my friends here in town drink. I was not pressured at all to drink. We had a ton of fun without drinking, just sitting and talking and watching the game. Needless to say, it was exciting that the Seahawks won by a landslide.... That was just icing on the cake (which luckily, we did not eat).

I just feel so incredibly blessed. I don't think it could honestly get any better than this...

Unreal

Ahhhhh!!!!!!! I am so excited!

This morning I am going to visit my brother, Andy. I haven't seen him in probably about a month and I could not be more ecstatic to see him. He's making some progress and I am proud of him in many ways, but there still is a road ahead.

Not only that but I am hanging out with some of my friends tonight to watch the Superbowl. These are the kind of friends where I feel so much better after visiting them. They are a pleasure to hang out with and we all are rooting for the same team- Seattle Seahawks. Not only are the Seahawks kind of an underdog (don't think they've ever won a Superbowl), but every time I turn there is something inspiring about the players. One of the players even is legally deaf.

The last bit of news is very exciting. In the first time ever in my many years of going to counseling/therapy, my therapist wants to see me only once a month. She said I am doing incredibly well. She said at first she was scared I am sitting around the house reading all day, but I told her about my adventures with my various friends in town (I have friends that I eat lunch with every day). While Rockaway is not the most exciting place to live, I have made quite a few friends here. I have a blast every day.

I am still waiting to hear about the new jobs I applied to. I've applied to about 40 jobs in NYC and around northern NJ, so I am just in the process of waiting. I have only heard from 3 jobs so far. I am not losing hope and continuing to move forward.

And you know what I figured out yesterday?! I only have 9 more days to 10 months without a hospitalization. Only 2 more months until my birthday, the day that I celebrate a year without a hospitalization. Unreal...

Life is Beautiful

"You will never live this day again; once it is gone, it is gone forever."
-Billy Graham, Hope for Each Day, Feb. 1 Devotion

Just those few words are very powerful.

We will never live today again, so we need to make the most of today as we live it.

Lately, I have been making the most of every day. I'm on my 15th book of the year and I have a stack of books from the library to read. I absolutely love reading. I am currently reading a bunch of books from a series called S.A.S.S., about girls who study abroad in different countries. I love it because there's always something about the country that intrigues me. I love going around the world without even leaving the comfort of my sofa.

I am really excited too because yesterday, I applied to about 10 more jobs. A few of them are my dream job, working in a lab doing cancer research. I am ecstatic because I met all of the criteria for all the jobs I applied to so I am just in the waiting mode now.

Everything is working out beautifully and I am ecstatic to see what happens.

Life truly is beautiful...