When you hear "you're not praying enough"

Have you ever come across people in the church or Christian people who say that you are still sick so you must not be Christian enough, believing enough or praying enough? I have a "friend" on Facebook who recently said something to the tune of "you're still mentally ill. Don't you believe that God wants to heal you?"

I watched a movie called Miracles from Heaven today, in which a girl is diagnosed with an incurable stomach disease and her mother is bombarded at church with people who say something must be wrong with her beliefs if her daughter is not being cured. It makes her mother leave the church.

Which brings us to those age-old questions of: why do bad things happen to good people? Why do we suffer? Why do some get better or are cured while others die or suffer?

I personally believe that challenges come into our life to shape us into who God wants us to be. I believe that God's will sometimes entails us going through difficult challenges. I have found tremendous strength while battling intense mental illness. In many ways, I am thankful for my mental illnesses because I have met a  lot of amazing people I never would have and I've had interesting experiences that have brought me closer to God. I have faced many challenges along the way, including over 20 hospitalizations.

It's not that I don't believe in miraculous healing, but I am okay if I am not necessarily miraculously healed from my mental illnesses. I have flashbacks nearly every day, I haven't heard voices in a few months and I haven't been suicidal in over a year. I take my recovery step by step, one moment at a time. As they say in every 12 step program, "Progress not perfection."

If someone dies or is not cured from an illness, it doesn't necessarily mean that they are not Christian enough, not believe in God enough or pray enough. It just means that God had a different answer for them.

A Letter to the Abused

This is a letter I wrote while in the hospital.

To those who have been abused,

I have been where you are. I have felt the despair of being made to feel inferior, used and demeaned. Trust me when I say that I have felt the great depths of the human condition. I have felt great pain but I have also felt the great heights of God's unconditional love.

You are loved. You are cherished by a power greater than yourself or I could ever be. I can tell you that this life is worth more than gold and it is worth more than what you have been through. I can tell you that you do not have to forgive, for forgiveness should never be forced. I highly encourage you to forgive though.

People are not meant or made to be abused. We were made for true agape, unconditional love- a love that knows no bounds and is there at all times.

You are deeply cared for. There are really good people out there who will love you no matter what. There are people out there who will treat you in the way you deserve to. I am one of them. I have been abused very severely and yet I know that love. I know and understand a deep love that is not sexual but rather loves without condition. A love that looks beyond mistakes and darkness. A love that drives out hate, as Dr Martin Luther King Jr. spoke of.

Hate has no place in this world. Only love can transform this world in a way that is unimaginable and beyond that which we can ever speak of or think of. Anger has a place in this world as well but forgiveness is worth so much more. Forgiveness can transform our hearts in unimaginable ways. It feels very good to release the anger that find a place in our hearts.

Release that fear and anger. It is not correct to create fear in this world. Release the fear that drives hate and anger. Release all the tension of what you have been through.

I say that I do not want people to pity me about what I have been through because pity does not get me anywhere. It is just pity. I find great strength in helping others and healing people who have been through what I have been through. I find strength in transforming the world with what little I have. To know that I have made a difference in another person's life helps all the mistakes and all the evil in my life worth it. It makes my life meaningful.

I am sorry for what you have been through. You did not deserve it. You are stronger than the circumstances you have found yourself in. You are more than the evil. You are a great person who was born todo something with your life. You do not have to change the world. All you have to do is change the world for one person. If I've met you, you've made a difference in the world because you helped me to transform the world. Please take this life seriously because you only have one. Make the most of it.

You are deeply loved. Deeply cherished for being you. You are a beautiful child of God. You are to be respected. You are wanted, needed and accepted for you. You have a place in this world. You are to be loved in an appropriate manner. You are not to be used or disrespected. You are wonderful. You are a beautiful being with feelings, emotions and behaviors. You are not an object. You are to be loved and cherished from the moment you are born to the moment you take your last breath. We all make mistakes but know that I love you.

Love,
Chelsea Kowal (Mother Chelsea)